“When I first realized that I wanted to have sex, I felt almost repulsed by my own desire…”

Sex education at every level from elementary through highschool that I underwent neglected to mention that sex should be about pleasure. Sex was always portrayed to me as something that was inherently shameful and dangerous, but that teens were inevitably going to do it anyways because they are irresponsible. The best that our poor, concerned educators could do was damage control to prevent STIs and pregnancy. When I first realized that I wanted to have sex, I felt almost repulsed by my own desire. I was disgusted by my yearning to be touched in that way, and tried to push back against it, not letting myself enjoy. Young girls are never taught that it is healthy to want and enjoy sex, at least where I grew up. I don’t think teenage boys are raised with this same mindset-they grow up knowing that it’s normal for them to have sexual desires, so much so that girls are forced to regulate their clothes at school because of it. If I ever have daughters, I know that I will teach them to listen to their own bodies, and of course to be safe and cautious, but more than anything to embrace how good sex can feel! Because that’s the whole point! I think if I had known that sex was all about my own enjoyment from earlier on, I could have avoided all the unpleasant, uncomfortable, sometimes embarrassing sexual encounters I had around age 15.