“Warning ABuse” Poetry Submission
The art of learning abuse
is a silent journey
it starts young
and for young girls
it begins when men begin
to lick their lips
as we hurriedly try to learn
our new bodies
and later when we
learn to teach half the world’s
population that our bodies
are not their beds
But that’s just it.
You see, I had only the
warned abuse of myself .
And I had not yet learned
the consequences of my womanhood
Because I still believed
that how much or how little
clothing I wore told nothing
about how free I was.
Warning abuse
is to instinctively silence
the voice in your gut that howls “no”.
That’s learning womanhood.
So I guess you could say I’m naive
and maybe deserved what
was to come.
sometimes thats what I believe too.
rape.
it was my fault.
And yet I dont quite believe
that it is a sin, and I am to
blame for having a hole the
size of his manhood in my chest.
that same chest that held all of my anger, tears and screams
conveniently practices to remain
tucked away.
That’s learned abuse.
To silence yourself-and believe
you are no longer powerful.
So ya, I dont talk about
it much.
Because I do still choke on
cherry pits-
and the way even her hands
on my hips lifts every hair
on my neck.
I dont want to talk about it
to validate your need for
closure.
maybe its also because the
story will make you see
me differently.
And because not all of you Allies
learned tat reaction doesnt
change anything.
It won’t mean men suddenly
love and respect me
I dont need to go hunting for closure.
I dont need explanations or to wast time looking for an
answer.
“why”
because there isn’t one.
But oh by god have I learned.
That I am not the broken one.
For it takes a broken person
to come searching for
meaning between my legs.
and it takes a complete, whole, bad-ass motherfucker to survive it.
So when I tell you this story
I want you to hear them as the
things I’ve survived.
Rather than these broken pieces
you might believe I have inside.
My mess is my own
and so is this story.
But I’ve also figured out
that it’s worthwhile to share
it.
Beacuse the ones who truly
love me have a right to hear it.